I spot them together and for a second, a pang of pain. Memories flood my mind. Flashbacks of all our good times together. Remembering how it felt to utter the words,”We need to break up.” Thinking about all those times I cried. Wondering what would’ve happened if we were still together. Which takes me back to the present. To him and the girl standing in front of me. Would they be together right now if I didn’t do what I did? For a while, I stand there and just think. I keep thinking even after they leave but stop when I realize that it’s all in the past now. I can’t take back what I did. I can’t take back all those moments. I can’t take back all the words said. I can’t take any of it back because it happened and we’ve both moved on. I realize I can’t keep dwelling over the “what if”s because if it should have happened, it most likely would already have. That’s when I snap myself back to reality.
how does a person look into the eyes of a terrified child and have the guts to pull the trigger
Sometimes I really don’t feel like existing like not in a suicidal way but I just wish there was a way of pausing life so that I could sleep for a few weeks and figure some stuff out and then not have to feel guilty for missing loads of stuff because really no time had passed at all
Do not come into my life and act like you like me then leave as if it was nothing. Don’t give me mixed signals to make me think you feel the same way. Don’t lead me on because in the end I’ll be the one watching my hopes come crashing down. While you’re nowhere to be found. I’m done, if you’re not sure about what you feel about me. Leave. Stop wasting my time. I know what I want and I don’t want someone who doesn’t know what he wants.
I don’t understand how it works. The people you think care about you the most, the people you think love you as much as you do, the people you think will stand up for you when someone is talking behind your back are also the people who care about you the least, love you the least, and who are actually doing the talking. I honestly don’t get it. Nobody deserve any of this. Look, if my family and I have done something so terrible to you, just say it to our faces instead of telling other people. As far as we know, we haven’t done anything and you’re so bored with your life that you’re willing to start drama..again. Just like you do every year around this time. We can never have a decent Christmas celebration because of you and your want to gossip. Who are you to tell people that my parents are a bad influence on others? Let’s take a step back. Who got you where you are now? Who helped you get up on your feet when you immigrated here? Who still chose to stay in your life even though you have done nothing but bring our family down with your stupid little rumors? I think you need to reflect back on everything we’ve done for you and then look back on what you’ve done for us. Who’s done more? Who’s done less? Listen, we never even asked for anything back. I hope you realize that this will all blow up in your face sooner or later. You know, I thought family was all about respecting and loving each other. Whatever, though. As far as I know, you’re just my cousin’s mom. I don’t even want to call you my aunt right now.